Your Mother, Yourself

Good or bad, does your relationship with your mother influence the type of mother you are?

Mine does. I think I learned what not to do from her. When the ultrasound results told me I was having a daughter, I was very disappointed. Not because I didn't want a girl at all, but because I didn't want the same relationship I had with my mother. I recently found out that her behavior was beyond my control, and it's not my fault that things are the way they are. That said, I love my girl and I will keep loving her. I'll start early helping her build confidence and self-esteem. I won't view her confidence as arrogance or a threat to my womanhood. I hear women say that they're "best friends" with their kids. I don't want that, but I do want her to know she can always trust me and know that anything I do - no matter how much she hates it - is from the bottom of my heart, for the best.

I can't say the same, and it's scary. She says she loves me, but I don't trust her motives and I haven't for a long time. I hope I can break the odd cycle.

Yes, and no. I went through something simaliar when I found out I was having a girl. I have a good relationship with my mom, but as a kid I grew up with my dad. So in some ways, I am not sure how to do things. But I guess parenting in genreal is like that, no handbook, lol

My mother is.... lets just say... evil... and leave it at that.

The abuse and trauma from my childhood terrifies me that I will somehow lose my mind and be a bad parent. So I think/hope that I will be hyper-vigilant